Christmas

Jingle bells, Batman smells, Robin flew away...

Ok im not going to do Christmas carols really, had you going for a second though didn't i? Ok maybe i didn't but yer you get the idea Christmas is coming.

Personally as i've gotten older i've come to realise that Christmas is an over-rated money spinner for toy companies to reel in those kids and butcher the wallets of parents... it was cool when i was little, i was the one getting all those toys, but as i've gotten older i've realised what the real meaning of Christmas is, let's start with what it isn't and what its turned out to be.

Firstly, when most people think of Christmas they think of presents, alcohol, partys, getting carried home in a real bad drunken haze and so much food you look like a beached whale for a month later, this really isn't what its about at all.

As i've gotten older and wiser i've come to realise Christmas is more about people coming together, of course there is the real reason people are meant to celebrate Christmas (the coming of Jesus), but not everyone is Catholic so forget that reason. It's about families, being happy, being with the people you love most, all these things are what Christmas spirit are about, or atleast in my opinion...

So what do i want for Christmas? Well i've already got that sorted, and i won't get it till January, but that's the gift of Love... Good times.

Lewis Black Quotes

"Let's face it, Americans are fat all year round, but the holidays are when we really hit our stride. And you can bet the food we eat will be just as unhealthy as the families we're forced to visit."

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"But those aren't the flavors. That'd make too much sense. Apple and pear, according to Dr. Phil, are body types the bars are made for. Hey, I've got some advice. If you look like an apple or a pear, eat an apple or a pear! [On Dr. Phil's energy bars]"

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"I'm not big on Halloween. I never have been. As a kid my parents would send me out to collect for UNICEF, which just screws up the whole holiday. You're wearing a costume and people are giving you pennies and you're going, "Well, give me some candy, you fuck." And the grown-ups tell you, "Absolutely not. You've got your pennies. Now go build a village, you little shit." It still brings a tear to my eye."

Computer

The amazing thing about computers is that they are magical, especially when you don't know shit about how they work. They're really wonderful pieces of equipment, and when they don't work, you realize just how much you need them and just how unnecessary they truly are. I would have actually written my book with a pencil if I didn't have something called a "deadline." Maybe that's why the computer broke down, just to say to me, "Why don't you take that pencil and shove it up your ass. Yeah, I may be unnessacary, but you desperately need me."

Viral Infections

It seems the smallpox vaccine that we were given, the one we were told was going to last forever, actually had a shelf life. Yep, it wore off! Now, a vaccine that expires sounds like pretty big news, doesn't it?The kind you'd probably want to share immediately. Well, our government didn't tell us until there was a possibility of emergency conditions. What a crackerjack group of fuckers! How could they not call us?

"Hey, Lew, your smallpox vaccine has worn off. You want another?"

Um, let me think. Yeah, you're fucking right. I want another because, until now, my whole life has been a delusion. Everyday I would wake up and say, "It's gonna suck today, but at least I won't get smallpox."

The Governator

Arnold Schwarznegger is the governor of California and we are not even on LSD. I don't see why people bother taking drugs anymore. When reality has become a hallucination, what do you need to hallucinate for? I was walking through the Los Angeles airport just 3 months after seeing Arnold in Terminator 3, and he was being sworn in as the governor on all the television screens. I had a nervous breakdown. I fell to my knees and I pissed and shit my pants. I was weeping and screaming for help. "What is real?" I cried out. "Can anybody tell me what is real?"

Fears and Insecurities

Why is it that no matter how good your life is theres alway something that you fear happening or something that makes you feel insecure.

It's kind of crazy i think, like no matter how your feeling something can alway's really get to you, i wish i knew how to stop this, it bugs the hell out of me. I mean i think by now i should be cool with everything, i've walked this earth for long enough, but nooooo something always arises that makes me suddenly feel scared or insecure, i shall find a way to curb this and when i do i'll be sure to let you know how (and noooo alcohol is not an option).

Invincible

"I memorized all the words for you
But if you only knew
How much that's just not like me
I wait up late every night
Just to hear your voice
But you don't know that's nothing like me

You know I wonder how you already figured out
All these things that I try to hide
All this time i've been hoping you don't find out
All these things that I hide on the inside

I can't be held responsible
This is all so new to me
Just when I think I'm invincible
You come and happen to me

I want to make sure everything is perfect for you
If you only knew
That's not like me to follow through
Maybe even give up all these dead end dreams
Just to be with you
But you don't know that's nothing like me

Hey yeah I wonder how you already figured out
All these things that I try to hide
All this time i've been hoping you don't find out
All these things that I hide on the inside

I can't be held responsible
This is all so new to me
Just when I think I'm invincible
You come and happen to me

Now I'm waking up
I've finally had enough of this wreck of a lifetime
I never thought I'd survive it
Now I'm taking back
All I gave up for that
Leave my pain behind
Wash these stains from my life

Just when I thought all was lost
You came and made it all okay

I can't be held responsible
This is all so new to me
Just when I think I'm invincible
You come and happen to me

I memorized all the words for you
If you only knew
How much that's just not like me"

That Feeling

Have you ever met someone that makes you feel... complete?

Someone that no matter what's going on in your life and how bad you feel can make you feel better?

A person that even when you feel as if your getting dragged through the gutter can always say the things that make you realise that nothing is ever that bad?

What im getting at is someone who makes you feel good about yourself, that makes you happy all the time. Someone you see yourself spending the rest of your life with, that person that you never feel awkward with even when its silent and everything you do together feels natural... I have and im never going to let that feeling go.

Amo-te Baby*

Someone Special

"I wake up to the sound of rain upon my sill
Pick up the pieces of my yesterday old thrill
Can I deliver this used up shiver
To how I pronounce my life
And leave it up to faith to go by its own will

Back row to the left
A little to the side
Slightly out of place
Look beyond the light
Where you'd least expect
There's someone special

A foggy morning greets me quietly today
I smell a fragrance in the wind blowing my way
And ever further I run to find her
I yearn to define my life
Placing my faith in chance to meet me in half way

Back row to the left
A little to the side
Slightly out of place
Look beyond the light
Where you'd least expect
There's someone special

And she's here to write her name
On my skin with kisses in the rain
Hold my head and ease my pain
In a world that's gone insane..."

Broody

Ok, why is it that although i always state "I don't want kids" whenever someone has a baby i get all broody, i'm a guy i'm not supposed to get broody, but my bros just had a little girl and shes just so damn adorable, now i want one lol. I'm sure this feeling will pass... at some point, i mean i'm in no rush i've got all the time in the world right? Either way the latest addition to my family is by far the cutest...

Cleaning and Me

Today i did something really out of the ordinary...and i mean really. I tidied my room, and this is a rarity, I'm used to comments like "Bloody hell, one of these days you'll be able to see the floor...", and today i was compelled to just get off my ass and clean, like the entire room.

Afterwards someone said to me "They say our room is the mirror of our soul", and maybe its right, i mean, recently I've made quite a few changes to my life, drastic and needed ones too. So perhaps the compelling to clean my room was something to do with that I'd like to think so.

The best thing i've heard all year

Recently i heard a real belter, suffering a divorce, a couple argue until red in the face. Eventually they come to an agreement not to talk to each other.

So a while goes by and suddenly the guy gets a message from said ex-wife "I'm sorry i just want to be friends, let's be civil with each other..."

The guy is like "what!?!?!" He accepts a call from her and starts to talk with her, she says "I want to be civil after all we've been through", the guy replies "Ok i just want a clean divorce", she says "Well i'm still going to take you to court but let's be friends", guys like "WTF!?!?!?!?!?".

Now am i the only person that see's whats wrong with this situation, i mean "Hey i still want to screw you for everything you have in court....but let's be friends" i mean come on now, that is some messed up situation right there. xD

Blogging

Right, im yet again the proud owner of my own shiny new blog... but what the hell do i put in it? It's been a while since i did one of these so once i fugre exactly what i'm going to do here i'll be adding loads of stuff... i think haha.

Mostly my thought's, ideas, feelings, and general other things will appear here, so sit back, and enjoy the ride! ;)